How To Break Up With Your Boyfriend
Every relationship is completely different from the next, but when it comes to breaking up there are a few tricks that work for all of them. We’ve all had a boyfriend who is great but just isn’t The One, or he’s The One but you’re ready for someone new. There may be nothing wrong with him worth ending it over, or there could be a long list that you’ve been dying to share. Regardless, everyone deserves a little respect when it comes to cutting things off, so here’s how to do it as painlessly as possible.
1. Only Short-Lived Romances Should End Over Text
This is a total straight dating no-no, but if your relationship started online it may not seem so bad to end it the same way. If you’ve only gone on a handful of dates with him but you weren’t quite facebook-official, the text is totally fair. When you break up over text you are saying this isn’t a conversation it’s a verdict. It cuts them off completely in a way that it wouldn’t if it was in person. I once had this very handsome bear for a couple of months and I decided to break it off over text. He obviously hated this, but I knew that if I did it in person he would convince me to stay and I really didn’t want that. Sometimes you gotta look out for number one. Avoid this technique if you hope to stay friends or even friendly with your soon-to-not-be-significant other.
2. A Breakup Isn’t A Fight, It’s An End
Who cares who won or whose fault it was, none of that will matter once it’s over. Sometimes your man will want to explain himself or his actions, but it won’t do him any good. If you’ve made the decision to break up with him then you shouldn’t continue the relationship no matter how handsome and convincing he can be. If things get heated, position the end as just a break - and then ghost him. It sounds cruel but sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind, and you’ll be saving him from creating a scene or saying something he might regret.
3. Find The Perfect Location
I’ve heard it said that you should find a quiet restaurant or coffee shop but I can’t think of a worse way to be broken up with. No one wants to be choking back tears while the server asks if you’re ready to order. My advice is to find a nice place to go for a walk and then split off when you get to a fork in the road. This way both of you get a clean break and you don’t have to finish an awkward meal, or pay for one either!
4. Stop Procrastinating
If you’ve seen anything by Nicolas Sparks than you know reading a blog about how to break up with your boyfriend is NOT one of the steps on the way to him becoming your dream man. If you think it’s time to end it, then it is time to end it. Anything he says or does to change your mind will only mean that you can love him when the conditions are good. So set up a walk in the park or send out a text, but do it tonight!
5. Tell Him What You’d Want To Hear
No one wants to get broken up with so there isn’t really a nice way to say it. Until you remember that you aren’t going to see this person again, so you can say just about anything. This is not the time to unload a list of changes you wish he had made. This is a time to make him feel like he’s done good and he will find love again. Even if he was a terrible boyfriend with you, you’re not going to make things any better by blaming him. Accept the blame, let him hate you, and let him believe what he needs to believe to move on.
6. Start It With A Definitive Statement
There’s relationship talks and relationship ends, and this is The End. He might think he deserves a say in it unless you make it clear that there’s no going back. Something that always works is “I’ve been thinking about the relationship for a while and I’ve made a decision.” This will give him a cue that there’s nothing he can or should say to get you back. Chances are, once he hears that he will pretend he’s agreed all along - even if he’s dying inside.
7. End The Conversation With A Thank You
Thank him for something that he taught you or helped you with on a personal level. It can be as simple as, “Thank you for getting to know me, I will never forget you.” You always want your last words to remind him that this can be civil and that he will come to accept it. Also it will make him less likely to leak your nudes all over the internet or spread rumors you have something contagious.
8. When You’re Done, Ghost Him
Sometimes you can just totally stop responding to a guy and he will get the clue, but if he’s your boyfriend he’s probably gonna report you as a missing person. However, when you’ve told him it’s time to take a break, be clear that it includes all forms of communication. We all have friends who are still friends with their exes, but always end up getting back together with that “friend” before they know it. Don’t be that guy.