Guide To Moving In With Your Partner
Not every relationship makes it this far but sometimes it can feel like the ultimate finish line. In the gay community moving in together is like getting married, if you’re open to getting remarried another 20 times. It feels like a huge commitment but it really isn’t and it doesn’t have to be. That being said, the rest of the world may not be as free-spirited as you are so there’s things to consider first. In this little guide I’ll walk you through everything you should consider before you take the plunge with your new roomie with benefits.
Step 1: Small Steps
We get it, your apartment is way too small for two people, especially with your temperamental cat or an even-more-temperamental roommate. However, if you’re thinking about finding a place with your bae it’s probably a good idea to move into one of your existing homes already. Consider the nights you share your twin mattress with your partner in a stuffy bachelor suite to be the trial run for the real thing. If you guys change your mind, you won’t be left paying rent you can’t afford or be trapped in a lease you can’t break. You can usually do this without putting your partner on the lease so you really won’t need to worry about anything going wrong.
Step 2: Pack Up Your Life
Even if you’re not the one moving it’s important to take stock of all the things you’ve been holding onto and decide what’s worth keeping. If you leave anything, even tucked away, eventually your boyfriend is going to come across it and wonder why you kept it. Also this helps your partner feel like you’ve made an effort to deep clean and organize your life to make room for him. When he shows up on your doorstep with a bundle of bags, he should have enough space to make himself feel at home. This is a great time to downsize because there will be so many duplicates between both households: two spatulas, two coffee tables, two slings, etc. Look into donating or selling the things you know you won’t need now that you have so much stuff coming from your boyfriend. Chances are your boyfriend is doing a purge of his unnecessary belongings too.
Step 3: Make A Plan For Your Money
One of the most eye opening parts of moving in with someone is their new involvement in your personal finances. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to have to have a conversation about who’s buying what and how it’s going to even out. You may feel like you’re losing a bit of privacy, but you don’t have to share any information you wouldn’t want to know from him. It’s helpful to start with discussing the shared expenses, the rest is just details. The same plan won’t work for everyone so it’s important to find something that works for the two of you. If your partner is rich as hell though and hasn’t brought it up yet, then I guess you’re one of the lucky ones!
Step 4: Moving Day
You’ve done the planning and now is time for the heavy lifting that will start your future. Moving is a stressful time for literally everyone. There’s so much work to do, things to clean, and calls to make. Now’s your chance to show your partner just how much of a real partner you can be. He’s giving up his personal safe space to move his life closer to you and he should feel like he’s not doing it alone. It may not feel very rewarding to be moving someone else’s stuff, but if he’s the right guy you know he’d do the same for you.
Step 5: Surprise Him With Something Special
He may be planning the same for you but just in case, plan something small and special to christen your new home together. It could be as easy as a warm bath and some champagne or a framed photo of the two of you to make it feel like home. When my boyfriend moved in I got him a huge box of Ketchup chips, because he’d been living in the United States where you can’t get them. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, just surprise your man with something that reminds him why he’s moving.
Good luck on your unbelievably exciting new step with your boyfriend! Just remember, if it doesn’t work out you can always try again with someone new on GuySpy Voice.